Friday, October 2, 2015

The Old Gray Lady and Friends


So this clip round-up includes my first piece at the New York Times: a primer on Heroes Reborn, which you read here.

Not much, but it's a start.


At Vulture, I recapped the first two episodes of Gotham's second season here, and here. And episodes four and five of Fear the Walking Dead here, and here.

I also did a list of the ten most Cannon-y moments in the new Cannon DVD/Blu-ray box set, also at Vulture.

At, there's my positive review of The Green Inferno, Eli Roth's Cannibal Holocaust homage, right over here.

And at the Village Voice, there's reviews of Mississippi Grind, Hotel Transylvania 2, This Changes Everything, Shanghai, and He Named Me Malala

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Bif Bam Pow: Writing's Not Just for Reviews Any More!


I'm including my TV writing here, too, now.

1) Four Vulture recaps of Fear the Walking Dead: one, and two, and three, and four.

2) My review of 80s-sploitation action-adventure Turbo Kid:

3) My Village Voice cap of Korean action-fantasy Memories of the Sword:

4) My review of body-horror sequel Contracted: Phase II:

5) My Village Voice cap of found-footage horror film Creep:

6) My Vulture interview with Roger Corman:

7) My review of Johnnie To musical Office:

8) My Village Voice cap of Neil Labute's dramedy Dirty Weekend:

9) My review of Fatih Akin's Armenian genocide drama The Cut:

10) My Village Voice review action reboot The Transporter Refueled:

11) My Vulture interview with Rick and Morty co-creators Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon:

12) My review of Bruce McDonald's killer-kids/maternity-horror film Hellions:

13) My Village Voice cap of horror-comedy Cooties:

Ok, let's rock.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

"Opinions Were Like Kittens, I Was Giving Them Away."


Here's some writing:

1) My review of The Vatican Tapes, a demonic possession horror film helmed by Crank co-director Mark Neveldine:

2) My Village Voice review of Unexpected, a dismal what-to-expect-when-you're-expecting drama from co-writer/director Kris Swanberg, wife of Joe:

3) My Village Voice review of Jack Strong, a good-enough spy thriller set in Cold War-era Poland:

4) My Village Voice review of Staten Island Summer, a so-so one-last-summer-party teen sex comedy starring a bunch of recent Saturday Night Live players:

5) My review of Wild City, the latest film written and directed by City on Fire director Ringo Lam:

6) My Village Voice review of Paulo Coelho's Best Story, an undistinguished biopic about the author of The Alchemist:

7) My Village Voice review of A Lego Brickumentary, a disappointing documentary about Duplo, I MEAN LEGO:

8) My review of The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet, a mostly fine new film from Alien: Resurrection director Jean-Pierre Jeunet:

9) My Village Voice review of Call Me Lucky, Bobcat Golthwait's dock-portrait of Boston comedian Barry Crimmins:

10) My Village Voice review of Assassination, a bloated but fun South Korean spy/war thriller:

11) My Village Voice review of Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, an underwhelming cartoon adaptation of, uh, see title:

12) My Village Voice review of Shaun the Sheep Movie, a fun new film by Aardman Animations:

13) My review of We Come As Friends, a tedious documentary about the "alien," neo-colonialist nature of Western (and Chinese) philanthropists in contemporary South Sudan:

14) My review of One and Two, an unmoving coming-of-age fantasy starring Sally Draper:

15) My Village Voice review of Some Kind of Beautiful, an awful romantic-comedy, but a decent contender for worst film of 2015: 

16) My Village Voice review of The Curse of Downers Grove, a cheap, but satisfying "teen angst" picture that also happens to be co-adapted by Bret Easton Ellis:

17) My review of Sinister 2, an inadequate, but superior sequel:

Sunday, July 19, 2015

I Don't Know What to Call This Any More But It's Definitely Not 'The Week in Review'


I don't really like that title any more. I see a lot of other critics using it, and that's rather discouraging. Suggestions are welcome. Now here's what published this past week.

1) For Village Voice: a review of Jellyfish Eyes, pop artist Takashi Murakami's underwhelming kiddy flick. xowAvwEPGz
2) For Village Voice: a review of Ardor, a lousy man-vs-nature picture starring Gael Garcia Bernal and Alice Braga. c1RFCh2jh8
3) For a review of Alléluia, an insufferably arty horror film about the Lonely Hearts killers. alléluia-2015 
4) For my entry in the "Who's Who in Reviews" series. I waited all week for this, and am quite happy with the results. whos-who-in-reviews-simon-abrams

Takes us out, boys.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

The Week in Review: Well, A Week and Some Change


I've had some personal setbacks lately. But here, in the meantime, are my writings for the past month or so:

1) For Village Voice, a review of The Face of An Angel, a rather dull thriller by the often superb Michael Winterbottom: YbzoLrrlu1

2) For Village Voice, a feature on Critical Paranoia 2: Dark Night Rising, a frustrating, but intriguing experiment in conspiracy theory bullshit: LHFbgZppwy

3) For Vulture, my last two recaps of Sense8, the Wachowski siblings' uneven and aggravating science-fiction series: 5lnxamq2EL and 1NqIQTu

4) For Village Voice, a review of Phantom Halo, a tedious American indie drama directed by the daughter of Poly Platt and Peter Bogdonavich: character-driven-melodrama-phantom-halo-doesn-t-have-believable-characters-7273204

5) For, a review of Rubble Kings, a fine, but flawed documentary about real-life gangs of Fun City New York:

6) For, a review of Into the Grizzly Maze, a lousy, woman-hating animal-attack picture:

7) For, a review of Stung, another lousy, woman-hating animal-attack picture:

8) For The Dissolve, an interview with Penelope Spheeris, the lovely, and ferociously-talented director of the Decline of Western Civilization trilogy: 0ok2frhFvs

9) For Village Voice, a review of The Suicide Theory, a wishy-washy Australian thriller/dark-comedy:

10) For Village Voice, a feature on "Japan Cuts," the Japan Society's annual program of Japanese pop cinema: 8zbZI5wYcf

11) For Village Voice, a review of The Gallows, a stinky found-footage ghost story: it-wouldnt-be-a-tragedy-if-found-footage-horror-the-gallows-hadn-t-been-found-7351993

And here's some music:

Saturday, June 13, 2015

The Week in Review: All-Kicking, All-Punching Edition


Here are links to articles that published in the past week:

1) Chilean martial arts movie Redeemer is a great vehicle for star Marko Zaror. More in my Village Voice review: UvtGxzgw4j

2) American animator Don Hertzfeldt's World of Tomorrow blows the competition away in 2015 Sundance Film Festival Award-Winning Short Films. More in my Village Voice review: IWyop6uz3z

3) Hong Kong martial-arts comedy Dreadnaught (1981)--a Yuen Biao vehicle directed by Woo-Ping Yuen--is an energizing delight. More in my Village Voice review: nCREfFUQ0v

4) J. Michael Straczynski and the Wachowskis' uneven science-fiction serial Sense8 gets appreciably freaky in episodes 4-6. More in my second of four Vulture recaps: 1QrCSHx

5) And bleak American/Chilewood indie horror film The Stranger is a pantload. More in my review: the-stranger-2015

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Your Good Blog's Gonna Go Bad: The Week in Review


Here are links to pieces that published in the past week.

1) My Village Voice review of Brooklyn filmmaker Eddie Mullins's thoughtful

2) My review of Swedish absurdist Roy Andersson's terrific A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on

3) My primer on martial arts legend Jackie Chan's awe-inspiring Police Story films:

4) My Village Voice review of mediocre horror film Insidious: Chapter

5) My review of uneven but satisfying Old Man Jackie Chan vehicle Police Story: Lockdown (aka: Police Story 2013):

6) My Vulture recap of the Wachowskis' new-age-y scifi series Sense8's first three episodes: